Beyond Anxiety – Your next job may not be as bad as you “think”

I don’t know about you, but it’s generally “new year”, “new books” for me.

Since my brother passed away unexpectedly last year, I have gone into catastrophize overdrive.

So, I’ve been looking for ways to open up my world to experience greater calm around everyday events.

I’ve started reading Martha Beck’s, Beyond Anxiety – Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life’s Purpose.

I’m only in the first chapter.

But one of the things that jumped out at me is the idea that we as a species are way too left-brained dominant – using the analytical, logical and communication side of our brain far too much, and in a way that contributes to our anxiety.

If something terrible happens, we’re programmed to want to understand why that danger happened.

We make up stories about why that bad thing happened.

We also become more alert for signs of that danger, or conditions that caused that danger.

via GIPHY

The trouble with this left-brained dominated approach, is that our brains cannot distinguish between real danger and imagined danger.

Our bodies experience real or imagined danger in the same way.

So, it’s easy for us to spiral into a constant state of alert.

Then from feeling that threat, we look for ways to control that danger.

For me that control, is overthinking scenarios.

Essentially, I try to understand what’s happened, to prevent it happening again, or to respond in a way that will result in a better outcome.

If what I’ve said sounds a little too theoretical – here’s an example of how that happens.

Trigger alert here.

This story is about the dentist.

via GIPHY

This time last year, I had a tooth implant.

They drill into your bone to place the little screw the new tooth sits on.

For some reason my surgeon (bless her heart) did not use any numbing gel first up.

She launched full force with the big needle, saying I’d just feel a “quick pinch”.

Now for her it may have been a “pinch.” She seems like one of those terrifying a-type, over- achievers who apart from being in the top 1% of earners, get helicoptered onto giant waves in their spare time for a “fun” day’s surfing.

But for me, it wasn’t a “pinch” – it was the pain I’d been bracing myself for – for my entire life!

I kept my eyes tight shut for the rest of the procedure, imagining that any second now she’d slip with whatever terrifying instrument she was holding, and drill an excruciating hole right through my jaw.

None of this happened, of course.

But the unfamiliar buzzing sounds as she worked through my mouth, made me feel like it could. The injury stories I was busily making up were gruesome and terrifying.

Even worse, there was nothing I could do to control this scenario – except close my eyes to stop further terror and lie there stiffly. Perhaps I thought if I just stiffen up more, I’d be ready for whatever comes my way.

In the end I had a lovely new tooth.

But when this year’s dental visit came around, I spent an hour in the waiting room in knots at the thought of the needle. It did not matter how many times I reminded myself of previous pain free teeth extractions and fillings, my uneasiness did not abate.

I “believed” I was getting the big needle without numbing gel and my body and mind reacted.

This year’s visit for a dental crown was blessingly easy.

Martha Beck, in her wonderful book, pretty much says that our logical left brain and creative right brain can’t operate simultaneously.

So, when I was stuck in that place of “needle fear”, I could not conceive of anything else I could do to make this years’ visit to the dentist less painful.

(There was a solution of sorts. One quick conversation and the dentist could have cleared up the pain issue. She also could have prescribed gas or half a valium. But it did not occur to me to have a discussion around this. I was too busy catastrophizing.)

So, what has my tale of a “dangerous dagger-wielding” dentist got to do with your career change or job search?

My question to you is this.

Are you sitting in a “fear-imagined” future?

Is your “headspace” around what’s happening to you now in your job or job search, letting you see clearly about everything that could be available to you around the corner?

There’s a very big chance it’s not.

I see the job of people in my profession, whether it’s career coaches, counsellors, job search coaches or resume writers as being able to help you imagine and create a better future for yourself.

But you’ll always sit in the dark if you don’t at least open the door.

Feel free to reach out for a free objective discussion around support available for your next career move.

Book an illuminating 15 minutes in my calendar here.