Why job interviews are like dating, part 2. How soon is too soon to follow up with a call?

A post or two ago I wrote about why job interviews are like first dates; eight signs that your interviewer is really into you. The next part of the dating dilemma is when should you call, if you should call at all? I had this question from a friend today who’s just had a job interview. So I thought I’d put her out of her misery, and write this answer publicly.

There were a few too many things going through my friend’s head, which is what tends to happen if you’re over-anxious and female. Her questions in no particular order were – what would be better to do, call or email? If she did and made contact too soon, would she seem too keen and be really annoying. What if she did make contact and the interviewer said no? Could she cope with the rejection, particularly as she had her heart set on a job with this company?

Are you still with me here? Let me tackle these questions, one at a time.

So let’s assume that you’ve dropped your “thank you I had a good time” email or note, which I think you should always do. It is good manners and particularly important if you are keen on continuing the relationship. I’ve never seen anyone knocked out of the recruitment race for sending an email like this. The call I’m talking about here, is the nerve wracking call you make to find out how you have gone. In dating speak, that’s asking whether the interviewer wants “to take things further.”

The call or email thing is a bit problematic. So I’ll give you a few things to think about.

You can compose an email carefully to say exactly what you need to. This also gives the interviewer a chance to compose an answer, and easier for them if they say no and want to give you feedback. But then it’s all done and dirty. Like a farewell note, you don’t really get much of a chance to continue a conversation once you’ve exchanged final emails.

With email unless you are a brilliant writer, you can’t convey as much tone and enthusiasm as you can in your voice when you call, and if the interviewer is “seeing other people”,it may just be that which will swing things your way.

It’s the same for the interviewer. Tone makes the difference too. What they write in an email, may have a completely different meaning if they say it over the phone. If they reject you and give you reasons, you may end up taking something personally, when you really don’t need to. We’re probably all guilty of that, job interview, dating or otherwise.

Most people say, and I agree, that phone is better than email for building a relationship. So unless you really don’t do good phone, be brave and call, which brings us to my friend’s next big question, “if I’m going to call when should I call?”

Leave a call for an answer to after the time that the interviewer has said they would give you an answer. If they’ve said “we’ll be back to you after a week”, leave it a week and two days. There is a lot of work that needs to happen after someone interviews you, if the organisation is serious about recruitment. There are often other candidates in the mix, discussions and dilemmas to be had and perhaps reference and security checks to organise. If HR has their fingers in the pie, there’ll probably be forms to fill, reports to write and approval processes to follow. You should give your potential employer some time to get through all of this. Otherwise there is a good chance you will be annoying.

As for coping with rejection if the interviewer says “no”, there are still only positives here. Firstly yes you get to hear “it’s not me it’s you”, but you then get an opportunity to explore why. It may not be a final “no”, but a “no for now”. Or it may be that it is a “no forever”, but at least you get to know sooner. You can then pick yourself up and move on.

Bit like a rocky relationship, really.

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Tagged as: secrets from recruitment consultants, Why job interviews are like dating