First Day Freak-out
The first day of school was tough. On went the uniform, the squeaky new shoes and the oversized backpack. Time to let go – a bit! Five days a week, six hours a day, he was off learning without me; my life was about to change.
What shocked me was that I could let him go! He was happy and I was nervously ready for something new. Now there was pressure to earn some dollars, find a career and come back to the ‘adult word’. I didn’t know that world. It had been so long. And I had never found a career to call my own, until now. And now that I wanted to do something specific, I was terrified. What if I’m too old? too far behind? not good enough?
I had friends telling me to get any old job just for some cash flow and everything inside me yelled “NO”. I didn’t know if I was being a spoilt brat, but for the first time in my life I knew what I wanted to do, so why would I do any old job just for the money? So, I didn’t. I dug my heels in and followed my gut.
Where to start.? I looked to people with contacts. I thought, I would just try doors and if nothing happened, then I would get the ‘just for the money’ job. I had some coffees, took some advice and started networking. I also applied for a job as an experiment. The next day I received a phone call to arrange an interview. Butterflies! I had not been to an interview for at least six years.
I decided to fake it until I made it without being fake, putting my acting degree to good use. I researched the company, brainstormed ideas and rehearsed questions and answers on the way to the meeting.
It was a fun experience. It was a long experience. I threw around ideas and chatted like I knew what I was talking about. The one part that was tricky was when he asked about my experience. I am a chronic truth teller, so I found it hard to twist my slight lack of experience into something both truthful and impressive.
I am still waiting to see if I’ve got the job but I’m pretty philosophical about the whole thing. Everything is an experience, you have to try doors to get them to open. And at the end of the day, I know that my kids will love me whether I’m a dismal failure or a roaring success and that’s really all that matters.